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The governments of the UK and Australia met up in 1902 to discuss the possibility of burning a man, made from half an "Aussie" and half a "Brit" (one of the race unaffectionately known to the locals as "pommie bastards"), put the ashes in a small urn and then play test matches for possession of "The Urn".

Australia was originally part of a super-continent called "Gone Awayland" which included "The Other America" (South America) and Canada, as well as "African America" and Caucasia. The following account accurately summarises the history of the ensuing years: "Back to 8th century AD, Australia still consists of many tiny islands.

The mythical islands of Aotearoa (Noy Sealand) were also thought to be joined to the super-continent. There was a tribe of natives, living confined from outside. Kangaroo was divinised as sacred animal, the embodiment of God.

Other parties quickly formed including Democrat, Communist, Green, Brownish, Slightly-Puce, Even More Gay, and the Bugger-All (New Gay) Party.

Early British prisoners in Australia used their pickpocketing skills to steal a captain's ID and set sail in the direction of Antarctica, where they hoped to find Father Christmas and his tireless elves.

The Asians won and bogans have been hated ever since. The British took control after a bizarre administrative error which also created North Korea, Poland, That other country with the two Islands and Sweden.The first Queen of Australia, Captain James "Jimmy" Chook, built the first Aussie "barbie" (barbeque, not the doll - she came later after Ken moved in), on Lady Macquarie's Chair on Point Bennelong.In 1978, a giant boat arrived on the shore of the Island, loud disco was booming out of it, but no one got off the boat was several days until the army was called.Once on board the army found a large group of sleeping party people. This is believed to be the origins of Australia's Gay Scene.

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